This has by far got to be one of the biggest perks of being a mommy. Sure, I like the occasional Law & Order: SVU or even a little Real World, but even as an adult, that stuff pales in comparison to the joy I derive from watching children’s shows.

I’m sure that when my toddlers are sleeping, I’ll flip the channel to some home cooking show, or an inexplicably heart-stomping Lifetime movie. But I can’t deny my affinity for cartoons and fart jokes. Now, I’m not necessarily a big fan of the baby shows, like Wonder Pets. Have you ever watched that shit? I don’t get it at all. I honestly had to hold back the vomit every morning last semester while my roommate watched it. There’s just something about those little stuffed animals singing out of key to classical music that gets to me. I want to strangle that little duck.

But when my kids are a little older and actually understand what’s on the TV, that’s when I’ll get excited. How awesome is it going to be to have a good excuse to watch Spongebob and Dora The Explorer all day? Yes, I even love Dora. There’s just something about her accent, and that cute little monkey, Boots… I’m not even joking with you. I have Dora dominos. And chapstick. And rubber play figures. And a paddle ball. I am really that much of a kid.

Sadly enough, I still don’t know any Spanish.

The best part is that I can pretend to begrudge my children’s requests to watch such “juvenile” shows, just so they always feel that small sense of debt towards me, as if I have made some great sacrifice to make their lives slightly more enjoyable. Oh yes, I would enjoy being a SAHM.

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