A while ago, I went down to the office to look for a DVD. It was locked up. But while I was down there, I decided to take a dump in the office bathroom. It was a big one. I mean, I hadn’t gone in a few days. I flushed once… and it only slid about halfway down. I flushed again… didn’t budge. A third time… it was STILL THERE, staring at me from beneath the water. So I strategically placed some toilet paper in the water to cover its massive head, and left.

Am I ashamed? Not at all. Today, for the sake of a music video shoot, I conquered my fear of heights and scaled a 50-foot cliff, up and down, three times each way. I feel nothing but pride for my accomplishments today. That, and the intense pain in my right knee when I straighten my leg.

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