This morning, Cameron told me in private that he saw Sydney eating chips in the top bunk bed before I woke up (and before anyone else woke up). This is a problem, because she’s been told not to do things like this many times before. First of all, she’s not supposed to eat anywhere but the kitchen. Secondly, it was way too early in the morning for chips. And lastly, she’s been known to secretly eat entire cans of Pringles in one sitting. We yelled at her for that. The next time we got Pringles, she discreetly pulled back the top seal to pull a few chips out before anybody else opened them. And now this.

It’s not that she can’t have them at all. But this is happening repeatedly, the secret eating. I’m just concerned that she’s going to get as big as a house if this continues. I know - I’ve been there.

I have struggled with overeating and binge eating my entire life, to this day. Food makes me feel good. If there’s something in the house that tastes good, I’ll eat it until it’s gone. And then I’ll eat the stuff that doesn’t taste so good. And then I stop feeling awesome - I feel like a fatass.

It takes an incredible amount of will power to stop that kind of habit. I’ve been slipping into it again lately, and I’ve gained back about 15 of the pounds I lost over the last couple of years as a result. The only time I eat healthily is if I plan every single meal, down to the bite, days in advance, and only let myself buy the things I need to make these meals. If I buy extra thinking I’ll give myself a snack once a day, I’ll end up eating the entire package the first day. So unfortunately, this plan has only worked while I’m away at school buying my own food and making my own meals. When I’m at home and they buy snacks and cook big meals, I eat everything I can. And I really can’t stop.

I just don’t want this to happen to Sydney, but I’m afraid it might be too late. Fortunately she does like fruits and veggies, but she still eats way too much at a time. Jennifer just yells at her when she sneaks food, but I try to explain to her that it’s because it’s not healthy to do it. And I hope I can guide my own kids in the right direction and set a good example. Food is about nutrition, not comfort.

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