Well, they asked me some questions, which I answered very honestly. I showed them a music video I helped work on in Dublin that I knew was on YouTube, and they showed me a documentary they’re working on, as well as some of the music video footage they’ve already shot (they’re not done yet). After an awkward pause somewhere in the conversation, they looked at each other. The woman said, “What do you think?” and the guy said, “I think she’s amazing,” and they nodded at each other. They told me they’d interviewed someone else but that they were going to go ahead and offer me the video. I was like, that’s cool. Because if they hadn’t, no skin off my back, you know? But then, the woman added a little something. “I know you said you’re used to working for free, but we’d like to offer you two hundred dollars once the video is done.” Well, after I made sure my diaper wasn’t leaking, I was all, “Sure, I’ll take that!” Then I ran away before they could change their minds.

So, that’s basically a free $200. Because I really would’ve done the video for free anyway. So that is NICE.

Especially since I went shopping today. See, I’m going to the Tisch Gala thing Monday night, but I don’t have any “formal” outerwear for the evening. I went to Wal-mart in Long Island and got a cute little black purse and a nice cream-colored scarf and gloves set. But my main goal was to get a warm coat that would be appropriate. All I have right now is My Chemical Romance hoodies and a purple rain jacket, which is certainly not going to impress Rainn Wilson. Well, Wal-mart didn’t have jack. So I walked over to the nearby mall. I literally looked in EVERY. SINGLE. STORE. that carried women’s apparel, and every coat was either 1) so ugly I wouldn’t even wear it one time, 2) too small, because you know, everyone is a size 12 and under, 3) too big, because all the “plus size” women are actually my size and have already bought all the coats that would’ve fit me, so I am left with coats that are so big they fall off my shoulders, or 4), too expensive for something that is going to make me sweat profusely within thirty seconds of putting it on because it is THAT HIGH OF A QUALITY of warm winter coat.

So I still have no jacket. At this rate, it looks like I’ll be showing up in my long floofy skirt, short-sleeved dress top, and lovely cream-colored gloves and scarf. But no actual item of clothing protecting my arms from the projected 34 degrees of Monday night.

However, I did buy Twilight. That’s right, I’m all over this bandwagon. Comparing the craze to that of Harry Potter? I’m interested. Reading the summary of part of the final book, Breaking Dawn? I HAVE to know how it got to that point. I just wish someone hotter was playing the main vampire in the movie. That boy just doesn’t do anything for me.

I got my first Chemistry exam back - a 100. That’s right, a perfect score. And I never went to that class, either.

I’m supposed to be getting my Child Psychology mid-term grade today. I can already tell you - it’s going to be amazing. I was SO prepared for that exam.

I am obviously the smartest person in the world.

Okay, well, MAYBE I did get a B on the first Abnormal Psychology exam. But we’re not going to talk about that, because, um, I don’t want to.

I’m getting Josh three presents, whereas everyone else is basically getting one. But he is the special man in my life, you know? Two of them are DVDs he asked for, and the last one is a bit of a surprise. See, one night Josh told me on the phone that he doesn’t have any ornaments of his own. My jaw hit the floor. I may not have my own Christmas tree yet, but I’ve been given TONS of ornaments throughout my life! It’s part of my history! I couldn’t believe no one had ever given him one. So I’m going to the Christmas shop in the Seaport and getting a little tractor or bulldozer ornament and having “Josh’s 1st Ornament” written on it. It’s going to be ADORABLE. And I know he’ll love it. Besides, he gave me an ornament last year - a very lovely glass Tinkerbell ornament that I’m sure cost more than it should have.

I really do hate being poor, though. I can’t shop for people like I want to. Two years ago, I was able to spend over $2,000 on Christmas presents - and this year, it’s going to be less than $200.

What are you getting your friends and family for Christmas?

If I were to someday collect all eight of the below lenses, the total cost would be a little less than $6,000. I don’t think this is that bad, since there are single lenses out there that cost more than that. Also, all but one of these lenses are EF, not EF-S, which means I would be able to use them on a nicer, full-sensor camera if I ever got one. And a couple of them are even from the “luxury” line.

In order of probable purchase:

Standard Prime

Macro Prime

Wide Prime

Cheap Telephoto Zoom

Wide Zoom

Standard Zoom

Telephoto Prime

Telephoto Zoom

As you can see, lenses can get very expensive, even when they don’t seem that different. But trust me, there is a MASSIVE difference between an f-stop of, say, 2.8, and an f-stop of 4. And the cost of the equipment is part of the reason professional photographers are paid so well - they end up spending most of what they earn on more equipment!

As an added bonus, I’ll just throw in the full-sensor camera I’ve got my eye on for in the future.

Canon EOS 5D

Never stop dreaming!

I have been cognitively overwhelmed lately. All I want to do is get all my work done, get ahead of the game, so I have time to relax before my next exams, or to just have time to go window shopping or take some pictures. But it seems like the work has been never-ending - until today. I realized I have read all but ONE chapter for ALL of my classes, and then I just have four excerpts for Child Psychology. And that’s for the ENTIRE semester. So once all this reading is done, all I have to do is go back and review it for the exams. I’ve done this before and it’s incredibly effective for me. I retain information I read very well, I just need a brief refresher before an exam to bring them to the front of my mind again. So I’m pretty excited about that.

I just got picture lock on a color sync I edited. When I start with this new “free time” business I will upload it for you guys to check out (warning: it contains drugs and a blowjob, though not graphically). I also started editing a puppet movie for kids, which is ADORABLE. You are going to love it, because I love editing it.

Sometimes, with my work habits, I can see myself developing certain symptoms of the very mental disorders I am studying. I know the whole “medical student syndrome,” as I’ve mentioned before, but I’m not trying to diagnose myself or anything. It’s just nice to know what symptoms are, to be able to recognize them so that I can change my thoughts or behavior before they DO start to develop into something. So I’m really trying harder to be less structured and more relaxed - hence the not blogging every single day. ;P

Sophomore year, my mom was actually living in the city, uptown, at the time, because she had a job at a hospital up there. I just hopped on the 6 train uptown and had Thanksgiving with her. We tried to go to the parade in the morning, but it was raining that year, and so cold - I thought I was going to die. I felt bad wanting to leave, since it might have been the only time Mom could ever see the parade in person (and she has watched it on TV every year since forever). I think she felt a little miserable too, though, so we left. When we got back to her apartment and undressed, our shoes and socks and pants were completely soaked, and we were freezing. We cranked up the heater and she started cooking the best Thanksgiving dinner for two in the history of the world. It was seriously delicious, AND I got to take a lot of leftovers back to my dorm with me.

Last year, though, has probably been my favorite during college. Mom had a job up in Maine and was staying in a duplex. When I hear “duplex,” I generally think, “Not awesome to live in.” And to be honest, I wasn’t totally excited about going all the way up there to spend a four-day weekend with my mom, because she had been pretty aggravating the summer before when she came home from Wisconsin or wherever she’d been. But I hopped on a bus and took the five-hour ride up there, and she picked me up at the bus station not far from where she was living. We went back to her place, and I unloaded my bags in a chair when I came in the door.

It didn’t look so bad, I thought. I started exploring. It was very small, but not TOO small - it was the coziest place I’ve ever been in. There was the living room when you walked in, the kitchen and dining area behind that, and a half bathroom and pantry to the left of that. If you went back into the living room, there was a set of stairs in front of the front door. I went up, and there was a full bathroom at the top of the landing. To the right was “my” bedroom, which was very lovely, with a queen-sized bed (which is heavenly when you’ve been sleeping on a twin long dorm gym mat bed). To the right of that room was Mom’s room - which was actually quite large, with two queen-sized beds sitting next to each other with space in between, and a very nice beaudoir.

I don’t know if it was the opportunity to relax that weekend after the stress of working on my color sync film, or the great food she made us again, or the fact that she was so tolerable over the weekend, or if it was the subtle feeling of wonderful inside of that duplex, but I really, really loved being there. I didn’t want to leave. I felt so peaceful, so at home - which is actually truly astonishing, as I hate cold weather and living anywhere always cold, and believe me, Maine is COLD. But I even asked my mom if there was any way she could work in Maine again and get that same duplex - I loved it that much. I know that probably won’t happen, so I will have to be content with the memories I have.

I used to think that I would always want the biggest house I could afford, because that would be most comfortable. After staying in that duplex, though, I realize that I would be perfectly happy - if not happier - in a small place, if it was arranged just right, and felt as cozy as the duplex in Maine. Maybe Josh and I will be lucky enough to find a place like it.

The one this weekend was relatively painless, considering it was all outside. We shot in Tribeca (the west part of middle downtown) and Saturday it was absolutely gorgeous. The weather was around 60 degrees and it felt really nice with just a jacket on. Then YESTERDAY, all of a sudden nature decided it was going to get a lot fucking colder, more like 36 degrees and windy as hell. I felt bad for the actors - Kate just had to wear a skimpy dress and I was afraid she would die. I wore an extra jacket but it was still pretty nipply. Fortunately, there was an apartment building with a small visitor lobby that we all kept ducking into when we weren’t needed, to at least get away from the wind. I just kept telling myself I have been in far worse, much colder outdoor shoots… such as Justine’s color sync last year, in the middle of November in Jersey, with it threatening to snow any second and three little girls as the main characters.

I really love the Tribeca area. It’s all about family, albeit rich families. There’s tons of kids running around, which is completely unlike most of the rest of the city. There’s also a Barnes & Noble right next to a Bed Bath & Beyond. :) Also, apparently James Gandolfini (Mr. Tony Soprano) walked his big white dog through our set TWICE Saturday, and I COMPLETELY MISSED HIM. BOTH TIMES. And I was even on the lookout for the second time! This is evidence of how many celebrities I may have passed over the last three and a half years without noticing because I am completely oblivious to the world around me. Also, during our lunch break, I was singing MMMBop along with the iPod speakers we had on set, and apparently Debra Winger walked by and laughed at me. I mean, I saw a woman and heard her laugh as she passed, but one of the actors on set said it was Debra Winger. I didn’t even know she lived in New York, and if she doesn’t, why she would just be strolling down Greenwich Street past student film sets… But isn’t that a great story, if it was her? “Hey, this one time, I made Debra Winger laugh by singing MMMBop on the sidewalk.” Yeah. Really great story. Uh huh…

There was one other thing about this shoot I found unusual. The director was a woman, and there tend to be more female crew members on shoots directed by women. There were a few female crew members including myself, and most of them were pretty attractive. And yet, I found a couple of the guys on the crew talking to me frequently. As in, they preferred talking to me over anyone else on the set. I’m curious about this, as my appearance has not changed in the last year (except gaining back weight) and this is not usual for me. Especially when there are lots of other hot girls on a set. But the production manager just kept talking to me and running errands with me, and the assistant director kept making jokes and asking if he could get me anything. I sort of didn’t tell them I’m getting married. It’s nice to have my self-esteem boosted once in a while. :)

I’m finally making some decent money with my tutoring and building my savings account back up. We’ve got our honeymoon covered, so now anything we save will be building up a down payment on whatever house we eventually get. The problem is, I am torn between saving every last penny right now, or spending chunks of it on things that could potentially help me MAKE more money in the near future - such as photography equipment.

I have made a rather reasonable wish list of lenses I would like to have for my digital SLR. Yes, they’re expensive, but it’s not like the list includes those ridiculous $15,000 telephoto primes. Granted, the cheapest one I want (besides the cheap telephoto I’ll probably buy before I can afford the “good” ones) is $325. But what if it does dramatically improve my photography and I start getting people willing to pay me for my work (unlike that guy who said he’d “tip” me for the photos of his baby’s blessing, and even asked me for my address, and then didn’t send anything at all)? I know it can be an investment if I take it seriously, I’m just terrified of NOT being successful with photography and then here I am with lots of nice lenses and equipment that is not helping us pay our mortgage.

I don’t like making difficult decisions. Bobby, Josh’s brother, offered to give me the money for my first lens on a 99-year, no interest repayment schedule. Well, as awesome as that sounds, I would probably still feel inclined to pay him back before we even bought a house, so it’s all kind of the same - I’d still be spending all of that money instead of saving it for our down payment.

What to do???

The thing is, somewhere between puberty and adulthood, I have lost a lot of my lust for blood. In fact, some new scary movies actually scare me - and we all know horror movies aren’t made as well as they used to be. (Umm, piss your pants at Nosferatu, anyone?) Now it’s all about blood and guts and stuff, and not actual tension and fright. And apparently, I don’t handle blood and guts so well.

I also don’t seem to handle the supernatural so well. The Exorcism was one of the only older movies that really scared the shit out of me. And then a couple years ago, I went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose by myself (but really, I was surrounded by people in the theater). That movie FREAKED ME THE HELL OUT. That scene when Emily has a seizure or paralysis or whatever the hell it is on the floor of her dorm room, and her eyes are all black and staring straight at the camera - I’m pretty sure I was half-sitting in the lap of the woman next to me at that point.

I’m debating if I want to see the new Saw this weekend. I saw the first three, but not the last one. These movies really disturb me, they’re so gruesome. So what happened to my love of horror movies? I think it’s just the horror genre itself has taken a turn. I still like the “oldies,” from the really old, like Dracula, to the semi-old, like Halloween. But since I was a kid, there’s just been more corn syrup and fake organs, and I’m not really following the trend.

In fact, oddly enough, I am now becoming more attached to family-style movies, Disney and related. I really did join the Disney Movie Club, though not with the intention of remaining a member. Someone gave me $30 to do it, which is how much my first five movies cost including shipping. I had to buy four more movies to fulfill my membership requirement, which was $90 including shipping. So technically, I got nine Disney movies for $10 each - and one of those (Finding Nemo) is one of Josh’s Christmas presents, one is my childhood favorite (The Little Mermaid), and I also got the Santa Clause trilogy to enjoy over Christmas break, snuggled up on the couch with my honey.

I guess I am already developing mom-brain or something. Then again, Beauty and the Beast has NEVER failed to make me cry, no matter how old I was. Maybe I’m just more into the idea now of movies making me feel GOOD rather than all BLOOD BOOBS BOMBS FASTER FASTER CAN’T BREATHE GROSS. Animation helps me find my center.

Bob help me if they ever start making really gross horror animations in the mainstream. I will have nowhere left to turn.

I even got the engagement photos I took for a young couple edited and uploaded to Flickr. I am currently importing photos from the film shoot this weekend to be slightly touched up and also uploaded. I got picture lock on a short film and will hopefully soon be passing it off to a sound mixer… but of course, now I have to start editing Sam’s film (the one we shot this weekend). :)

I cannot remember the last time I had a free day, or even half an hour of free time to myself without any work to do. This is extremely bad. In fact, Josh actually got really mad at me about it this weekend because while on the shoot I was still sick and hadn’t had time to go to the doctor all week. Fortunately, I am now getting better on my own, but Josh is still really worried that I’m overloading myself. His grandfather was recently put in the hospital because of heart problems related to stress, so he’s extra sensitive any time I mention how much work I have and how tired I am. So I’ve promised him I will not take on so much work at one time, and I will practice saying “No” to people.

Since then, Josh has been more pleasant on the phone. Which is fabulous. Because before he explained that he didn’t want me working so much, he was just really grumpy and short with me on the phone, and it only added to my stress because I couldn’t figure out what was wrong or what I had done. Now I get it, and now I’ve reassured him, and everything is back to the way it should be. I love that man so much I would stop eating bread if he told me he thought it was bad for me.

I told Sam on the phone this morning that I wouldn’t start editing until at least next week. So now my goal is to get ahead on my work for the next week or so, so that I actually have an opportunity this weekend to spend some time with myself, or talking to Josh on Skype. I am crewing again this weekend - I promised weeks ago! - but it will only be until around 7 Saturday night, and around 4 Sunday afternoon, and none at all Friday. So those evenings I intend to spend in front of the TV (or computer screen) for once, just enjoying myself. I realize this is still like four days away, but at least I have something to look forward to.

By the way, what the hell is up with my body? Suddenly I’m having another period? Ugh. My depo shot is Monday. Maybe after this one there will be absolutely no more surprises.

First, in the morning I had two demands requests from fellow student filmmakers: the first, that I upload photos I took at a shoot the weekend before last to Facebook. So I resized and obliged. Then the director of the shoot I’m assistant director on this weekend - my good ol’ buddy Sam *cough* - needed me to make a shooting schedule. So I did that.

Then I had class, after which I “tutored” for two and a half hours, then ran back to my dorm to eat something, then caught the subway up to Central Park for a photo shoot of an engaged couple. THAT was fun. I don’t really mean that sarcastically. It was a bit rushed since we didn’t have a lot of time to begin with, and then they were about 15 minutes late. But they were real troopers - they were into all kinds of ideas, and came up with their own of climbing into a tree (which nearly ended in disaster, as the girl was then terrified of coming down). She even broke her lovely black belt. It was my first shoot like this, but I definitely think I’d like to do more - some of the pictures looked really great in my LCD review.

After that, I hopped the subway back to campus, just in time for my first Chemistry exam. There were six questions, with a few sub-questions in each. I was rolling through, like Yeah, I am so smart, taking Chemistry after I took AP Chem in high school, this is a piece of cake, and then I hit the next to last question. Spent about five minutes on it, couldn’t get it yet. So I finished the last question, which took all of 30 seconds. I ended up spending the rest of the exam time on that next to last problem. We’re talking, that movie moment where I’m sweating bullets and I keep staring at the clock and I can practically hear the second hand ticking as the professor calls out “three minutes left.” I actually got the answer by my awesome powers of deduction with a calculator way before that, but the fact that I couldn’t do the math right was bugging me, and I wanted to figure it out. I mean, it seemed so EASY. Then, literally on the last minute, I realized the wording of the question had thrown me off (it was percentages, and he had said to use x and 100-x as the variables, when for my problem it should’ve been x and 1-x). I was like, OHMYGOD. So I scribbled all the steps to the answer very quickly. And I am quite confident I aced this one.

Then I came back to my dorm and waited for Josh to call. He did, and the conversation was going quite well (aside from my persistent loud coughing - thank you, sickness), until I decided to bring up the fact that I didn’t want guns in our house when we had kids. Good lord, people, did this strike a cord. He was all “I have six guns and it’s a hobby I have to shoot them off” and I was all “Statistics show guns in the home are primarily used for suicides and accidental homicides between family members” and it turned into a big argument.

That’s been happening a lot lately. It seems like every phone conversation we have ends with ten minutes of silence after we have a disagreement, then we hang up and I text him apologizing and we text for half an hour about how we both feel. Why can’t we talk about this stuff on the phone? Oh well… it’s better to text it than to not talk about it at all. Fortunately, neither of us are the type that like to drag arguments on for ages and ages. If he was here, we totally would’ve been boning when he got home from work.

And that was my day. How was yours?